Trouble is, most of them suck. "It helps to remember this.. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. They don't want to hear from you. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. [] I look at war a little bit differently. At all. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? ", 38. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. I didn't bother with him. The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. That's against their interests. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Fascism won it. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. From Life Is Worth Losing. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. ", 62. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. ", 21. This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. They're all in favor of the unborn. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. ", 47. They own everything. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Broadly speaking. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "Don't give your money to the church. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. 234. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. After that, they don't want to know about you. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. ", 81. ", 96. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. They OWN YOU. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. These days, 'Trajedi. You don't. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. Teach them to question what they read. God has a three-day weekend. Maybe this time itll work. ", 39. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. ", 40. "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. They dont want that. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. The truth is, we dont have people like that. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. It does not store any personal data. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. ", 33. This is the best we can do folks. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. They are irrelevant. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. "In America, anyone can become president. Yeah, the public sucks. They've got the judges in their back pockets. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. ", 60. A cat . "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? You dont. Germany lost the Second World War. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. You have no right to complain. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. "I have lots of ideas. "So, have a little fun. They own everything. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. But He loves you. 41. It will not be with jack-boots. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. They own everything.. ", 22. You have owners. You ever notice that? I'm f**kin' serious! ", 29. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They want obedient workers. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. Carlin is usually spot on. Try spelling Evian backward. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 45. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. ", 92. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. They own everything. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. They dont give a fuck about you. 01. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet

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